Once I make a decision, the Universe conspires to make it happen.
Process Of Creation: Personal
For personal applications such as relationships and personal growth, the methods used by The School of Creation will help you literally "re-wire your brain". As stimuli hit the brain, our synapses build a neural network that is either reinforced over time or neglected and made weaker by inactivity.
As James Allen once observed, "We become what we think about all day long." As we give more priority to various thoughts, beliefs and actions, they become what we call habits. Over time, these networks become so developed we do things easily and unconsciously. We don't have to re-invent the wheel each time. For example, once we master tying our shoes or driving a car, we no longer have to consciously think about each step.
While this may be a tremendous time saver with driving, it can get us in big trouble with other behaviors, such as becoming angry if someone looks at us a certain way, or being impatient when faced with an obstacle. Each time the brain receives a stimulus it continues to build either a "good" habit or a "bad" habit.
- We are often not aware of the habits we have already created and are now running on auto-pilot.
- We do not know how to short circuit the habits we want to change and get different results in our lives.
- We are unaware of other people habits and do not see how we interact with them.
The methods and concepts taught by The School of Creation assist you in becoming aware of the programs you have installed, the results those "belief programs" are creating in your life, and gradually de-installing the limiting programs while installing more empowering ones. This helps you recognize the programs being run by others. This awareness allows you to consciously create your vision in the world rather than being an unconscious puppet of the habits you have built over a lifetime.
To help you become aware, we take you through each step of the Process of Creation, teaching you the tools to understand when and how your relationships are “stuck” - because of this unconscious programming - so that you can learn how to transform them.
The 10 Step Process
As an examlpe of how this Process of Creation is applied, let's look at a personal situation that very large number of people can relate to - the concept of finding another person and living life together in a committed, monogamous relationship. It begins with the idea "I want to experience marriage".
We will outline the 10 Steps in the Process of Creation and how it pertains to relationships, in this case marriage.
1. Seed: Purpose and Nature of Relationships
Outer: The intention to live the unity, happiness and joy in a marriage. The vision comes to us that we would like to create ourselves something we have seen others experience around us. Our parents, our neighbors, aunts and uncles, people on TV and in the movies, all have demonstrated that there is a concept out there called "harmonious marriage." Out of compassion comes the vision and the seed of what we want to create.
Inner: We form a vision to experience this kind of union with another. Both partners must ask themselves; What am I here to experience? What is the purpose of this marriage?
Qualities: Compassion for self and the other
Challenges: Expectations, following the Hollywood portrayal of the ideal marriage, rigidity of current image of a marriage
2. Experience: Wisdom from Living
Outer: We gather all the experiences we have had ourselves or have seen others experience. We are willing to be fully immersed in the experience, be playful and present. We are signing up to a passionate living of the current perceived reality. We immerse ourselves in it and observe it first hand.
Inner: We make a personal decision to experience what it is like to be committed in a long-term relationship. We decide to buy into the concept of marriage- to experience it, to learn about it, to pursue it.
Qualities: Willingness to experience ups and downs
Challenges: Irresponsibility, unrealistic expectations, imbalanced ability to respond
3. Definitions: The Full Description
Outer: We are gathering the experience from step 2, considering all available options and developing of our final and clear definition of marriage. We are considering the words we need to use to describe what it is that we want the relationship to be.
Inner: We spend a period of time germinating the ideas. We look at all the options available and define what kind of union we would like to create. We think about the qualities we would like in a potential mate, the way we would like the relationship to work, and what our life would look like together. The idea is gestating within us until we are ready to let the world know what we would like to create.
Qualities: Nurturing and protection of yourself, your partner and the union
Challenges: Overprotection, self-sacrifice, self-centeredness
4. Power: Soliciting Support Using Inspiration
Outer: This step is about finding the partner we want and agreeing on a Mutual Model. This period is characterized by taking the concept out into the world of others. During this stage of understanding the power, we begin to utilize our influence, charisma, and an ability to take action. We verbalize our intention. We present the vision and the concept to potential partner(s) and attempt to get consensus and to be willing to join us on our path. We identify the areas where a consensus in the priorities, motivation and values is achieved. We consider the resources available when identifying this overlap. Once the relationship begins to develop, we may begin to experience a "power struggle" as each party jockeys to determine who will be the driving force of the relationship. It may be as small as who always picks the restaurant for dinner or the movie to rent, or as big as who is the "decider" about the major steps in life. It may soon become clear who is driving the relationship and who is going along for the ride.
Inner: Our partner is touching our unresolved issues related to power struggles. We retrieve our beliefs about how the power should be handled in the relationship, what we have seen our family and friends do. We apply them; observe results and modify beliefs. We are resolving conflicting beliefs within.
Qualities: inspiration, readiness to resolve conflicts, empowering the partner
Challenges: My way or the highway, victimhood, indecisiveness, lack of commitment
5. Boundaries: Implementation Sequencing
Outer: We describe how our relationship is going to unfold and what we plan to implement when. We make choices on what is in and what is out defining priorities we both agree on, evaluating how much we can put on our plate and still do it with love. A defining moment in any long-term relationship is when a couple decides to be "exclusive" and not date other people outside the relationship. This is an excellent example of Boundaries.
Inner: Preparing yourself to let go of your desires that did not reach consensus. Knowing how much you can do, how much your partner can do, and how to respect each other's boundaries with love. Feeling how much both partners can handle and where each needs to grow and giving each other space to do it.
Qualities: Understanding of each other's limits, needs, abilities and vulnerabilities
Challenges: Fear of losing, inability to let go,
6. Physical Manifestation: Reality of the Vision
Outer: Now it is time to manifest the plans defined in step 5. It may be just doing things together, going on vacation, implementing small projects. This is the time to evaluate how it all actually works for you as a couple. We are implementing partial (specific) aspects of the relationship and experiencing how they work.
Inner: The couple may get carried away with physical reality and seek to extend themselves well beyond their needs and means. They may believe that physical things will make them happy and seek to get all they can. They might be motivated by a desire to impress others, or to compensate for not feeling "good enough".
We may try to manifest those things that are outside the boundaries of what is possible for us as a couple. You may see the fruit of your creation that you agreed to, and find that you're not happy with it because you were hoping for more. The overlap that you believed was there is not as you thought it would be when you created it together. If this is the case, then it is necessary to go back to the vision, experiences, specifications, and then to renegotiate the relationship.
Qualities: Responsiveness to the physical needs and real time situations
Challenges: Greediness, disappointment, lack of communication, lack of willingness to go back to the beginning to recapitulate.
7. Long Term Planning: From Here to There
Outer: Including the experience learned in step 6, now we begin to see how our relationship fits in the larger context of our life. The pursuits of life now requires us to undertake long term planning to include "legacy" ideas such as children, grandchildren, charitable causes, environmental responsibility, spiritual communities, or making a long-term impact through one's career or public service.
Inner: Finding a balance between the physical and the eternal. Also the understanding that nothing happens by accident: everything is a result of something. Here we are defining what is needed to sustain and nurture this relationship for the years to come.
During this stage, some become disillusioned with the lack of fulfillment in the ‘Physical, or Material stage. As a result for example a subsequent belief that money doesn't buy happiness, the couple or individual moves into a pursuit of spiritual fulfillment to the exclusion of the physical domain. Whatever the nature of the spiritual activity, the person seeks to find love from God directly while excluding other people from the equation.
Qualities: Broad vision, understanding that there is a before and after, cause and effect.
Challenges: Daydreaming, withdrawing from the physical
8. Infrastructure: Supporting your Vision
Outer: We begin to create the foundation for our life together with all the elements required to support it. We better understand our roles and responsibilities. We know some things about the other person, their strengths and weaknesses, what motivates them and what "pushes their buttons". We know some things about relationship dynamics that we have acquired through the wisdom of others and our own experience and we are able to lovingly apply that wisdom to our daily lives. We develop processes and acquire things needed to support daily living.
Inner: As a lot of elements need to be synchronized and we often don't have enough data to make our decisions. Very frequently we need to rely not only on reasoning but also on intuition. Very frequently intellect can really wreak havoc in matters of the heart. It may attempt to block us from feeling our own emotions, and may numb us to the feelings of others. In fact, when others attempt to express their feelings, we may respond with "there's no need to get all emotional about it. The intellect will often try to fix any problems that arise in the relationship, and try to solve problems of the heart with logic or "tried and true" formulas derived from experts, rather than checking in with one's own feelings. A common statement of someone on the shadow side of intellect is "I need to figure this out myself." We need to create a balance and be guided by the heart as well as by the logic.
Qualities: Open mind, open heart, ability to listen and respond
Challenges: Rigidity, fixed ideas, inability to adapt
9. Virtual Reality: The Final Test
Outer: In this process you are a truthful, loving mirror to your partner. You tell them the truth without "sugar coating" it. You are honest about your feelings and observations. You "reflect" it like it is." You are also able to receive this same kind of honest feedback from the other person without anger, defensiveness, blame, criticism, or "heading for the door".
Inner: Addressing the conflicts within. Here you may want to "shoot the messenger." If your partner has feedback for you, or mirrors back to you a behavior, belief, or situation you find irritating, objectionable, or just plain wrong, you may attack. You may blame, criticize, deflect, run, or do any number of things in order to avoid facing the truth head on.
This is the domain of the image management, trying to look good to the other person or the outside world. Another attribute is self-sacrifice or feeling and expressing that no one appreciates you. An example of this space in a relationship is the mother who wears herself out cleaning up after everyone else rather than holding individuals accountable.
Qualities: Partnership, seeing your reflection in the other, lack of separation, truthfulness
Challenges: Pointing fingers, masks, illusions
10. Living the Vision